bluecityveins

a free ride inside my diseased mind.

Archive for the tag “parody”

Aculade (part 1)

Somewhere, Sometime, Out there…….

Deep down in a pepper mine…

In the not so distant future one of the more coveted spices is pepper. The pepper industry has become one of the fastest growing markets on the entire planet. A large percentage of uneducated men are employed by the various mining companies. Despite the huge profits the companies make, they still treat their workers like slaves and pay them unfair wages. Most of the men working in this trade have had past records with the law. Mostly drug addictions, violence, and theft. For the most part, the men that work here do so becuase no one else will employ them. The mines would hire almost any degenerate that could pick up a shovel…

11:45

2000 feet below earth.

The Pepper mine workers are divided into teams, each team works on a certain level of the earths core. Since pepper is such a minute material the workers are required to wear special goggles with magnifying capabilities. Face masks are also worn. The masks are used to prevent any worker to get a free sniff of pepper. A free lunch as it were.

Each team of pepper miners has a leader. Earl happens to be the leader of this such crew.

Klink, krank, klunk, the pepper tools sang. Songs of pain, sorrow, and anger rang from the clangs.The tools songs reflected the tortured souls of the workers wielding them. Slowly grinding down particle at a time after each swing of the axe. Each fragment of rock separated from its core, wore a salt sized hole in their tired souls…..

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the malfunctioning time machine notes (2)


Found this weird story in one of my many notebooks while time traveling today. Like most of my stories it was written in a child like manic scribble as though I was being forced to write it while being chased by some axe wielding pervert. Perhaps I was , who knows.

July 2003

Draino

Gordo owned  the “Raino” happy drink company. His brother Dildo owned the “Draino” sewage unclogger company. The designer that worked for both Raino and Draino screwed up the letters on the Raino bottle one day. “Draino” was selling  much better than “Raino” . One night when Mr.Raino felt defeated by the Draino empire, he said “What use is it to live in a world where people would rather buy toxic toilet unclogger than a drink that makes you happy!” He then decided to end it all, drinking what he thought was his opponents toxic toilet product to off  himself. Turned out Gordo just drank his own product because of the spelling mistake. He felt great, he accepted defeat, figuring this was a sign and mistakenly began promoting Draino to the world to drink. However it was just the one batch of Drainos that where spelled wrong and he was responsible for killing half the planet. He is still locked up to this day, very confused and thirsty.

Figured you could just waltz in and read my weird little story scott free hey, well perhaps this little guilt button will change that! ha.

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